Hilarious account of Dax Roggio's relationship demise with ex-girlfriend

In a recent tale that Trash will surely find the most amusing, but I thought I'd share with everyone, I was walking down the 3rd Street Promenade with my girlfriend, Melanie, when we crossed paths with one Dr. Julie Clark, Wake alum and ex-girlfriend, who, as far as I know, still lives in New York.

In a back story that I will do my best to keep concise, the last time I saw "Mini-Doc" was also in Santa Monica, over half a year ago. She was in town on business. After getting the run-around for a few days, I showed up at her hotel. We ended up having a Hollywood style blow-out "right in front of all the bellboys and the over-friendly concierge"* in the crowded lobby of the Loews Santa Monica.

Contrary to Julz's belief (and probably Trash's), I had no intention of causing a scene when I arrived. Yet, after waiting until about midnight for her to return from the dinner meeting, I ended up accusing her -- indirectly, but quite publicly -- of cheating on me with the head of cardiology at UCLA, the middle-aged physician who had walked her home from the dinner meeting. She called me crazy, among other things, and pointed out that there were six or seven other doctors and GSK Pharmaceutical execs at the same dinner.

In return I pointed out that her slinky dress was more appropriate for an Oscar party than a business dinner. Then I looked around in mock search and said "I don't see any doctors. You look like you're on a date."

Precisely at that moment, six or seven doctors and pharmaceutical execs in dark suits walked through the entrance and waved at her.

I could go on...and on...about the events that followed, but I'll just bring you, my dear readers, back to the most recent Santa Monica run-in.

As you might guess, Julz was cozily attached to the aforementioned cardiologist as they strolled down the Promenade together this past Sunday afternoon. This time she was wearing black flip-flops and some off-the-rack number that she probably picked up on sale at Express. Uh, I mean, anyway, this time there were no other doctors to deflect attention from the happy couple, which brings us to a fun trivia question.

Which of the following descriptions did Julie use to describe her doctor friend the first time around?

He was:

a) just a colleague,
b) one of the "greatest minds in medicine,"
c) just one of several important people with whom she was in town to do business, or
d) probably gay.

Of course the answer would be: e) All of the above.

This time he was just "Greg."

It was painfully fantastic. After a failed attempt to hide her face by taking a sudden and intense interest in the window dressings of Barnes and Noble, she pretended to suddenly notice me as I repeated her name a second time. She then dropped into full-on panic mode, adopting the excited, over-friendly tone Julz reserves for only the most awkward situations. In fact she blurted out the same exact thing she had said upon first seeing me in the lobby of the Loews Hotel back in January:

"Oh my God! Daxxy! What are you doing here?!"

Busted!

This time I just looked around and said, "I live here." I left the obvious response, "What are you doing here?" hanging in the air unsaid, but you could practically hear the words in the awkward silence that followed.

She was mortified. I was somewhat sick to my stomach myself, but I was also equally, pettily, and quite visibly thrilled to be holding hands with a cute, tall, and significantly younger blond at the time.

After some more wonderfully inane small talk, including a fabulous attempt on Julz's part to introduce her cardiologist acquaintance as if I had never met him, I said, "Well, good to see you Julz. And good to see you again, Greg."

Good times.

*Shady Lane, Pavement, Brighten the Corners, 1997